Breakups, divorces, separations aren’t really buzzwords today. One is happening round the corner as often as some pain-in-the-a*s lassie is pestering her boyfriend to heart her Instagram pic (and thereby, inviting a breakup). As such, marriage has become quite THE decision to take. One has to evaluate the reasons, weigh the probability of a ‘favorable’ outcome and then, decide if the step is really worth one’s while. I know, I know- I make it sound like I was cutting some business deal where the perusal of facts and figures could cut a neat deal. But that’s the catch- marriage isn’t a do-you-love-him/her decision at all- it is a deliberate poring in over all necessary information about beliefs, values, dreams, goals and so more to arrive at the weightiest of words in the English language- YES or NO. Even so, the process doesn’t guarantee a successful outcome. It’s like flipping a coin mid-air and hoping when it’s turning edge-over-edge that it gives you the face you want to see. It’s a gamble really. We could say the same for marrying young.
There is a faction that can prove marrying young is the stupidest thing you could ever do and another that cannot help but evince the merits of the decision vis-à-vis experiential facts. How do you pass a verdict? Is marrying young a good thing? Or is it a sticky soup to land in? Not unlike the coin, marrying young has two faces too- and we shall show you both, so you can decide for yourself:
The pros of getting married young:
The problem with a lot of couples who wait it out (in hopes that good things come to those who wait) is that they tend to be so set in their ways by the time they have waited to get (or settle) for what they can get/are getting now is that they can’t snap out of their routine. They cannot change their ways because they are already accustomed to a certain morning ritual or saving habit that they’ve built half their life upon and planned the remaining around. As such, allowing another person to intrude in on that space and meddle things up is often a war cry. On the other hand, it is easier for couples marrying young to form, build or adapt to habits together as they are more flexible in their routine activities and are only starting out.
2. A longer span together
This one is obvious. When you are young, you have a lot of time on your hands to map out your married life together, pay attention to each other, learn more about each other as well as plan your dreams and goals together. Time is on your side and it is quite needless to say, it’s one luxury most of us cannot afford in today’s world.
3. No biological clock ticking away
With ample time on your hands, your biological clock isn’t levying any pressure on you to pop kids right away. You can wait it out, plan a family later and use the interim to enjoy each other’s company and build a strong, intimate bond.
4. Lesser baggage
This is one of the modern conundrums that morphs into a cross to bear if you wait marriage out. Marrying young slashes, if not eliminates, the probability of heavy emotional or mental baggage and allows you to work through your relationship without the fear of shadows cast by past demons.
5. Choosing and building a future together
Marrying young provides couples with the opportunity to map out their goals, vision and dreams together so they can set out to chart those territories together, explore them and help each other reach the destination whilst enjoying each other’s company on the journey. Unlike couples who get married at an older age and are nearing their pre-decided objectives in life with a roadmap handy, young couples have all the time to choose, create and build a future that’s conducive for the present that they have together. Older couples tend to struggle with accommodating their partners in a life they have already mapped out.
6. No generation gap issues
Marrying young allows you the luxury to plan your kids anytime. Also, if you choose to have kids after a considerable span, you still have a smaller age gap and can, therefore, double up as relatable friend-parents. Of course, that option is available to older couples as well but it doesn’t hurt to be able to be in on the inside jokes and trivia of genY. Also, your years tend to rev up your energy levels for dealing with children after wonky work hours.
The cons of getting married young:
1. Lack of maturity
The silver lining has a dark cloud. Just when you were beginning to learn what life was all about, you found yourself responsible for another. Remember that no matter what they tell you, your twenties are the time to figure yourself out, learn more of life and the world and experience life in its entirety. Choosing to marry young can prove to be a deterrent in developing an understanding of life and worse, condition your understanding and taint it with bias forever.
2. Lack of compatibility
Marrying young can often be a result of being head-over-heels with little or no consideration for practical aspects. This may reveal offsetting information later when it’s too late to undo the effects of one’s decisions. To weed out the (formerly-romantic) deleterious effects of passion, one needs to approach the decision of marriage with caution and understand that it involves much more than love and love alone.
3. Financial instability
Marrying young can prove to be a financial hurdle as the responsibility of a family can be an impediment in pursuing further studies and hence, furthering one’s career opportunities. Also, constraints like inflexibility to relocate may constrict opportunities, thereby thwarting financial independence.
4. Loss of solo space
Your twenties may be the only time to go crazy as you go backpacking across Europe or spend a summer for an internship in South Africa. Replacing that with double duty as nurse and wife for your sick spouse and sole breadwinner so you can move to a bigger house is a tad bit harsh. Don’t you think?
We aren’t deciding- you rule!