Just as there are no two individuals who are alike, no two loves are the same. The type of lover you are depends on you as a person, the person you are in love with, and the unique relationship dynamic you share with each other. There are no textbooks or routines that explain the type you are with. There are no guidelines that you can memorize and spout off in real life and be great at dating. Practice doesn’t really make perfect in this case, but you do learn a lot with each experience as you grow. It comes down to conscience and instinct, what feels right and what doesn’t.
But there are a few primary, basic ones that outline the common ones. Here is given a list of 20 different types of lovers you will encounter in your life.
1. The romantic kind
The kind that emulate the ones in the movies belong to this category. They believe in sweet nicknames, grand gestures, displays of affection, and basically, they are not afraid to wear their hearts on their sleeves. Candle light dinners, red roses, chocolates, and teddy bears holding ‘I love you’ signs – they’d do it all.
2. The adventurous kind
Not only are they excited about life, their nature reflects in their ways of loving as well. They like exploring new things and new ways of life with their partner, be it new places, restaurants, cuisines or hobbies. Their idea of romance is going trekking in the remotest of hills or discovering new jungles with you. The exploratory and zealous spirit even extends to their sex life, where they will be keen on trying new techniques and ways.
3. The jealous kind
They are often actually quite insecure about themselves. They will ask you too many questions about other friends who might have been a potential love interest at some point, and act rather standoffish around them in case you happen to introduce them to each other. Unfortunately, the jealousy bit is not just extended to your social lives. They will act aloof and cold whenever you achieve something big. It’s natural to feel bad if you are unable to achieve what you wanted to professionally but your partner ends up getting promoted. It’s even more uncomfortable if you happen to be working at the same place. However, if this is how your partner behaves every time something good happens to you, you need to beware of them.
4. The possessive kind
The most illogical and imposing among the types of lovers, this type of lover is best avoided. They will behave strangely around people and be terribly paranoid when they see you spending time with anyone you may have a chance of dating. They might even go picking fights for no reason. They will unnecessarily hover, draw you closer, place an arm around your waist or gesticulate in public to show how they have some sort of claim to you. They don’t understand that you can’t own anyone.
5. The overprotective kind
They mean well obviously, but that doesn’t stop them from being annoying. They will walk you to your destination even if that means inconvenience for them and always try to protect you. It can be passed as endearing, but mostly annoying.
6. The passionate kind
Among the many types of lovers, they just feel very strongly and fervently about your relationship. Their intensity is quite attractive and can make you experience emotions you didn’t know you could feel. Everything they do – the way they text you, embrace you or make love to you, they invest a lot of emotions into it. Devoting a lot of time to initiate and develop sexual intimacy, they spend a lot of time and effort pleasing you and themselves in bed. Passionate lovers are hard to find and very much appreciated mostly.
7. The playful kind
Unlike the passionate kind, playful lovers don’t believe in overdoing it. They are your basic next-door neighbor, and their idea of romance is not limited to hot, passionate sex or grand gestures of love. They like taking you out for ice cream, playing scrabble and joking around, discussing random nonsense. They believe in having fun and not overcomplicating things. Lots of people yearn for this kind of lover in their lives.
8. The dark kind
This is your angsty, punk-rock, death metal enthusiast who croons to the guitar and sports Gothic makeup, multiple tattoos and piercings. The description maybe rather stereotypical, but this was to give you an idea about the kind of personality you associate with this kind of appearance. Their appeal lies in the aura of mystery that they like to sport so much and they don’t give away a lot easily. They’re not exactly an open book, and hence dating them can be quite the chase.
9. The reflective kind
This is not just a type of lover. This can be used to describe a personality type. They don’t have you on their minds all the time. In fact, they don’t pay attention to everyone around them; they remain so deep in thought. You can’t know much about what they are so absorbed in because they hardly share what’s on their mind.
10. The mature, sensible kind
They are practical. They won’t cater to your whims and fancies all the time, neither will they ignore your wishes. They are not quixotic but they know how your mind works and hence, they know how to keep you happy.
11. The sensitive kind
You have seen them bawl their eyes out before and they are never afraid to admit what they really feel or think. Maybe being around you opens them up. Either way, they crave empathy and believe that feelings are important and have to be acknowledged and shared.
12. The attention seeker
They would hog all your time and attention if they could. They want you to be with them or text them all the time, and they get mad if you don’t reply for five minutes. Even when other people surround you, they’ll demand your attention. They just constantly want to be in the limelight of your romantic life and they hate monotony. They can’t handle having a normal quiet life; they just need a lot of drama and attention.
13. The motivating kind
Some people often try to make up for what they lack in their lives by pushing other people. They belong to this category. They will give up on their own lives and dreams in order to help you achieve what you want by constantly motivating you – either by positive reinforcement or by tough love, in other words, criticism. Perhaps, they don’t really mean to be mean, but if that helps you get closer to where you want to be, so be it. They’ll be rude and often conniving in their approach – maybe even resorting to bad mouth you. They could even emotionally blackmail you by mentioning how much time, effort, and sacrifice they had put in as well. They are just very ambitious.
14. The distant kind
They are the kind of people who revel in isolation. A lot like the reflective kind, these people are very engrossed in their own minds. Since, they are mildly narcissistic, it’s wise not expect too much from them. They get preoccupied very easily and if you happen to be in two different places, they’ll hardly inquire about you. Indifferent and stoic are two words frequently used to describe them.
15. The pleaser
They will do anything to impress and satisfy their lover. A people pleaser is rather spineless and lacks any opinion or convictions of their own. They seem to have no wants of their own. Call it unconditional love or whatever, they get the ultimate form of happiness by seeing their partner pleased. As lovers, they might be nice to be around but as people, they need serious help.
16. The compromising kind
Like the pleaser, the compromisers too feel happy by making their partner happy. The only difference is that they give in because they are mature, selfless, and believe in being the bigger person. They don’t have an ego to take care of. It doesn’t hurt them to apologize, and they will often agree even if it means that they can’t have their way only because they want to maintain peace and avoid petty arguments. Being around compromisers makes you a more giving person as well.
17. The selfish kind
Selfish people only believe in taking and always have to have things their own way. They think that by merely agreeing to go out with you, they are doing you a favor and don’t need to bring anything to the table. All they care about is if their own needs are being met, and they don’t make any attempts to please you in any way. Parasites of the human race, selfish people are not nice to be with. They are tourists. They come into your lives, take pictures, have a nice time, and bid you farewell as soon as their purpose of having fun is over.
18. The domineering kind
A little like the selfish kind, they too have to have things their own way. Very stubborn and egoistic, they will not budge if you ask them to meet you halfway. They will conceal their overbearing attitude under layers of love and concern but they will try to control everything in the relationship. You will often feel suffocated and trapped in their company.
19. The suspicious kind
People with serious trust issues belong to this category of lovers. They don’t have a grip over their imagination flying wild and always suspect people around them. Their minds are constantly thinking of possibilities of your infidelity to the point of being paranoid. They constantly doubt you and try to catch you red handed.
20. The materialistic kind
As long as money is there, love is not a problem for them. Their world revolves around riches and luxuries. Things like compatibility or values don’t matter to them. When they try to land someone richer than them, they are known as gold diggers.
These are many types of lovers that are not included in the list given above. However, these are the basic types. It’s with the permutation and combination of all these sorts of lovers, that there are so many other types. Of course, this list is not a way to find your perfect lover because love depends on so many things like the type of person you are, the chemistry you share, or the circumstances in which you found each other. Love cannot be calculated. There are no guidelines or algorithm to find the right one for you. All you can do is trust your instincts and make the leap, and when it feels right, you will know.